The ‘I Dos’
and the ‘Don’ts’
of Wedding Guest Dress-Code Etiquette
Here at Hope & Ivy, we LOVE a good wedding! Not only is it an opportunity to celebrate a real-life love story with those we hold dear, but it’s also the perfect excuse to get all dressed up.
But what to wear? Weddings, by their very nature, are steeped in tradition, meaning there are all sorts of little rules to navigate – especially when it comes to attire. Some dress codes for wedding guests are well known, others, not so much. So, allow us to run through some of the most common queries. After all, you wouldn’t want to commit a fashion faux pas, would you?
Location, location, location
First things first: check where the big day will be held, as this will influence what is deemed appropriate attire. A polished, city-chic look works well for a registry office, while a ‘festival-themed’ outdoor celebration calls for something more free-spirited. If you’re attending a religious ceremony, ensure your outfit shows due respect to the faith (for example, having a cover-up for your shoulders or head).
Finally, if you’re jetting off overseas (lucky you!) make sure you check the weather in advance and pack accordingly.
Can I wear white to a wedding?
The short answer? No. But the long answer? Well, that would be… Noooooo!
Joking aside, it’s best to avoid white, ivory, champagne, or anything that could resemble a traditional bridal gown. Wearing a style that reads ‘bridal’ at someone else’s wedding can seem a little odd, and other guests may even wonder if you wish you were the one walking down the aisle!
It’s also a good idea to avoid very pale colours, such as pastel blues and yellows, as they may appear white in low-light settings. Be cautious, too, of prints where white acts as the base – these might seem perfectly fine in person but could look white in the wedding photographer’s group shots. If you’ve fallen for a printed white dress, add a jacket or shawl that picks out the print colour and add matching accessories.
That said, some modern weddings do have all-white dress codes, so always check the invitation!
How can I avoid matching the bridesmaids?
We get it; It can be a little bit awkward to arrive at a wedding only to realise you’ve unintentionally dressed in the same colour palette as the bridal party. While most will (hopefully!) see the funny side, you don’t want to spend the day being mistaken for a bridesmaid and constantly badgered about the day’s itinerary by confused guests, or worse, getting roped into duties by venue staff!
To play it safe, avoid pastels like dusty blue, blush pink, and sage green, which remain popular bridesmaid choices. Instead, opt for deeper tones or distinctive patterns that wouldn’t typically be seen on a traditional bridesmaid dress.
Still unsure? Check for colour clues on the wedding invitation – sometimes the design reflects the couple’s chosen theme. On the flip side, some couples may actually want guests to blend into their aesthetic, so be sure to read the fine print!
Is black appropriate for a wedding?
While black is traditionally associated with mourning, these days it’s widely accepted as a chic choice for formal events. For weddings? Proceed with caution, depending on the details of the ceremony. An all-black outfit could look a bit severe at a daytime wedding, but might make an elegant choice if you are invited to an inner-city evening reception.
It's also wise to consider your position as a guest. If you’re a close friend of the happy couple, black should be safe from any accusations that you are ‘mourning’ in any way. However, a mother-in-law dressed head-to-toe in black? That may raise some eyebrows!
If in doubt, choose a black dress with colourful patterns or motifs, or accessorize with vibrant elements to ensure your look is celebratory rather than sombre.
Is wearing red a no-no at weddings?
There’s an old wives’ tale that a woman wearing red at a wedding is signalling a past romantic involvement with the groom! However, scratching the surface of this superstitious story shows it’s completely unfounded. That said, bright red is undeniably eye-catching and often associated with seduction, so some believe this myth originated as a way to prevent guests from opting for the bold hue and upstaging the bride.
If you love red, consider a deeper shade or a pretty patterned style – like one of our floral dresses – for a softer effect. And since red is often seen as alluring, opt for a demure cut over a sultry silhouette. It’s also important to recognize that red holds different meanings across cultures. In Chinese, Pakistani, Vietnamese, and Korean traditions, as well as some religions like Hinduism, red symbolizes love, commitment, and prosperity, so is typically worn by the bride during the ceremony. In such cases, guests should avoid wearing red out of respect. If you’re attending a wedding with customs different from your own, do your research and be mindful of cultural traditions.
Are there any fabrics to steer clear of?
It’s best to steer clear of overly casual fabrics, like denim or jersey, or avant-garde choices – think patent leather or PVC (unless your friendship circle is particularly ‘out there’!)
Sequins can also be a tricky choice. While a little shimmer is fine, an ultra-sparkly gown could be seen as ‘scene-stealing’ – especially in photographs.
That said, while you should aim to complement rather than outshine the bride, let’s be honest – you can never truly upstage a bride!
How should I accessorise?
So, you’ve found your perfect wedding guest dress? Now it’s time to pick out some elegant accessories to complete your look. Remember, you will have a long day ahead of you with several changes of setting (from draughty church, to drizzly outdoors, to stuffy indoors and a sweaty dancefloor – if you are particularly unlucky!) so be sure to prepare for every eventuality. A smart jacket or shawl is invaluable, and your shoes should be comfortable enough to take you from day to night.
When choosing hues to match your dress, a good rule of thumb is that your hat or fascinator should match the main colour of the outfit, while additional ‘accent’ colours can be added with the shoes or bag.
Communication is key!
Still unsure what to wear? When in doubt, ask!
Keep in mind, however, that the happy couple will have a lot on their plate – especially as the big day approaches. So, make any queries as early as possible (perhaps alongside your RSVP), or consider reaching out to the maid of honour or best man instead.
The key to being a best-dressed wedding guest? The most important style tip we can give you is to wear something you feel comfortable and confident in, then relax and have fun! After all, you’ve been invited to celebrate with the happy couple, so feeling your best is a great place to start. You really can’t go wrong if you plan ahead, take cues from the invitation, check for any specifics (venue, time, and season), and lean toward dressing up rather than down.
By following these tips, you’ll look fabulous, feel amazing, and be ready to enjoy the occasion!
